March 11, 2011

Party Poopers

At our latest family reunion, Tita's eyebrows rose to the 30th floor when Cousin barged in with her obviously-not-on-the-guestlist friends. They made a beeline for the buffet table, stripped the poor lechon of its crispy skin, and after eating and making the requisite we-have-to-go-back-to-heaven-knows-where exit line, proceeded to dump food into their capacious bags. Tita naturally came close to a meltdown, and I think has crossed Cousin off the list of those who will do the LA Walk in the next reunion. 

Other than realizing that skinless lechon can be such a gory sight, I have also come to realize that the world is full of party poopers.  Among these are:

1. The Heapster. Those who border on gluttony and pile food on their plate as if the world is in danger of starvation.  And in kiddie parties, Moms and yayas who heap, heap and heap food on their kid's plates, ignoring the fact that the pint-sized junior cannot possibly digest two burgers, two jumbo hotdogs, two drumsticks, and two servingspoonfuls of spaghetti and rice in one sitting.  The result?  Left-overs that could have fed a starving battalion.

2. The Box-Out Queen. They who elbow out the rest of the populace for first crack at the bouquet, or the doves, or the souvenirs.  They are always on the lookout for the freebie. At the first hint of activity, they make a mad dash toward the souvenir table and grab every souvenir they can lay their hands on, never mind if the trinkets will just gather dust eventually. 
3. The Stripper.  The Box-Out Queen's cousin.  The Stripper scans the venue, waits patiently on the sidelines and when the party's almost over, strips the venue of every thing that can be carried--from utensils to styrofoam cut-outs to the cake stand to the centerpiece. 

4. The Nega Star. My hands-down favorite :p.  The Nega Stars gravitate toward each other, taking up a dark corner and making it even darker with the negative vibes.  They complain about the food and the venue and trade nasty chismis about the host/s and the other guests.

5. The Videoke Vampire. S/he latches on to the mic and there's no tearing her away from the blasted videoke.  Not even a coughing spell or a wayward insect or the threat of a major weather disturbance can stop her "concert."