April 24, 2008

Things that Made Me Go "Ewwww"

I am not a sucker for love stories. True, I devoured Sweet Dreams and Sihouette and Mills and Boon and Danielle Steele before I knew any better. But then I realized that love stories are all variations of the same plot (you know, the boy-meets-girl, the riding-off-into-the-sunset and the living-happily-ever-after stuff). And I learned soon enough that real life isn't a love story. That life is, in fact, a string of stories good and bad.

The "unromantic" that I was, I had an ever-expanding list of things that made me go "ewww."

1. Roses on Valentine's Day
2. Sappy love letters
3. Cheesy lyrics
4. David Pomeranz
5. Moony, "adoring" looks
6. The damsel-in-distress drama
7. Sharing a room and a bed and a bank account with someone
8. Holding hands for reasons that have nothing to do with safety
9. Making up after a fight
10. The Wedding March

Four years of wedded (can't say it's all) bliss--and a three-year-old that has her dad's eyes--and I take back everything on my list.

Happy anniversary, Paparu! And without racing to the medicine cabinet for a dose of antihistamine (or for the barf bag), I can truly, truly say that I'm glad you found me. :p

April 23, 2008


I did it again. Been “postless” for quite a stretch now, that is. I don’t know, but humidity has a way of sponging whatever creative juices I might (still) have. For the past two weeks, my days—and nights—have had a zombie-like drill: creep out of bed at 6, settle into the daily grind at 8, crawl back into bed 13 hours later. The routine, and the precious hours of mothering an overactive three-year-old, have left me with little time for things requiring some degree of creativity. And before I knew it, it’s been two weeks…

There’s this other thing that got me, well, occupied, these past days: earning “Master Detective” status in Big Fish Games’ Mystery Case Files-Ravenhearst. I am no arcade girl, but I do like computer games that are a little laid back. Like Text Twist, Zuma, Tumblebugs and the Mystery Case Files series. MCF-Ravenhearst’s plot may seem like a trite attempt at horror, but then we’re not talking Nobel Prize anyway. (And as they say, it’s the going there, not the getting there, that matters.) What I like best is figuring out how to open the elaborate locks. Makes me feel so much like Nancy Drew, he he.

My eyes are shot from picking out clues, and Ravenhearst is feeling more of a routine. I woke up this morning to a refreshing April shower. And guess what? I’m not stewing anymore…

April 8, 2008

Living with Loss

Today marks the first death anniversary of a friend’s daughter. That the girl—who was ten—died on Easter Sunday remains one of life’s many ironies. My friend H has since picked up the pieces, and I am in awe of her strength.

This beautiful verse is for H, and for those of us who continue to live with, and live through, seemingly insurmountable losses.

A Psalm About Grieving

Choir 1:I turned to the wind
who howled and sighed
the whole time I was healing.

Choir 2: I turned to a tree
who had lost its leaves—
she knew how I was feeling.

Choir 1: I turned to the rain
who was in tears
for I too felt like crying.

Choir 2: I turned to the earth
who understood
what it meant to live with dying.

Choir 1: I turned to a thistle in a field
I could see
she too was lonely.

Choir 2: I turned to a rock
who knew how hard it was
to be one and only.

Choir 1: I turned to a blade of grass
because there were bonds
I had to sever.

Choir 2: I turned to the sea
who returned to me
and taught me about forever.

Choir 1: I turned to a mountain
who seemed secure
and I asked for strength and endurance.

Choir 2: I turned to wildflowers
in a wood
and they gave me some assurance.

Choir 1: I turned to a friend
who sat with me
until she had to be leaving.

Choir 2: I turned to Shaddai
who stayed with me
and helped me through my grieving.

April 6, 2008

A Year of Blogging

I am known for changing course mid-flight, for disconnections and reconnections. I pick up hobbies and interests and lose interest midstream. I have tons of unfinished projects and unfinished businesses, sentences and essays begun but never ended.

So when I started blogging a year ago, I wasn’t sure I’d reach this far. Or if I’d go somewhere at all. I just wanted to write again. To ramble on, in fact, about everything and nothing.

It’s been a year—and two days—since that first entry. A year and two days of finding joy in the blogs and lives of others. Of discovering kindred spirits and reconnecting with old friends.

It’s been a year of waking up in the middle of the night, of purposely ignoring "official" deadlines, to blog and bloghop.

Yes, it's been a year. And I look forward to more.