I am not a prude. But I am also a very private person. So when an acquaintance started lecturing me on the various positions that are "guaranteed" to get my reproductive hormones going, I was incredulous. The acquaintance couldn't have chosen a more appropriate place: the cold-cuts section of the supermarket.
So there I was, smiling a seemingly interested smile, nodding in agreement every now and then, all the while wishing she'd find a better audience. I was after all, in the grocery for cold cuts: not for cold, hard facts about reproduction.
Funny, but while she blabbed on, I felt like an audience in those you-gotta-try-these demos in supermarket kiosks. Like super-fast peelers or no-mess mops or stay-sharp knives. Only, the lecture was about hormones and positions and timing. And there was no way I could get a demonstration. Or a free sample.
Funny, too, how she referred to the act as "gamit." As in: "gumamit kayo blank number of days after your period." As if the whole reproductive thing bois down to use and utility...
Showing posts with label Mood Swings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mood Swings. Show all posts
December 9, 2007
October 12, 2007
11th to 20th Commandments
Today is my De-cluttering Day, and while I was leafing through mountains of paper, I found this gem. This one's for you, A, and for others out there who could use some picker-upper.
The 11th to 20th Commandments
11. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
12. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
13. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.
14. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time, anyway.
15. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
16. Though shall not borrow other peoples' problems. They can better care for them than you can.
17. Though shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now.
18. Though shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.
19. Though shall not become bogged down by frustration for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
20. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to big ones.
The 11th to 20th Commandments
11. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
12. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
13. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.
14. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time, anyway.
15. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
16. Though shall not borrow other peoples' problems. They can better care for them than you can.
17. Though shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now.
18. Though shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.
19. Though shall not become bogged down by frustration for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
20. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to big ones.
October 1, 2007
Me, Myself and I
There's this one character who is so into herself she thinks the whole world revolves around her. To say that she is self-centered is an understatement. She loves hearing herself talk, and in most cases it's always about me, myself and I. As in "I" alone did this. Oh, "I" have this wonderful, wonderful idea. "Yours truly" thought up the whole thing.
Once, Ms. MMI was asked to comment on/edit/correct a manuscript. The manuscript came back virtually untouched, except for the part where the members of the team were listed. Across her name, alongside her official designation, Ms. MMI added a "few" more titles: chief of this and that, chair of this and that, head of this and that...Obviously, the other members of the team were just, well, members. Ms. MMI had to be a member and a star.
Ms. MMI just can't resist hogging the "limelight." In one training sponsored by her well-staffed office, she put on a one-woman-show of sorts. She emceed, she led the opening prayer, she conducted the national anthem, she introduced the guest speaker (mercifully,it wasn't her), she did the closing remarks and she acted as the facilitator and lecturer. Ironically, the training was about empowering and motivating the staff.
Recently, Ms. MMI raised hell because some little usherette forgot to pin a corsage on her. She shed (crocodile)tears and went up to the usherette's boss, moaning about how insulted she was and how, given her stature, she should have been given that darn corsage. To her credit, Ms. MMI can really do a Vilma Santos if she wanted to. To cut an unbelievable story short, memos were issued, program designs were written and a whole bunch of "experts" were flown in to lecture on workplace ethics. And all because of one frigging, cheap corsage!
For all her self-centeredness, Ms. MMI might as well borrow this monologue thought up by a colleague from a long time ago:
"Okay, enough about me. Let's talk about you. So, what do you think of me?"
Once, Ms. MMI was asked to comment on/edit/correct a manuscript. The manuscript came back virtually untouched, except for the part where the members of the team were listed. Across her name, alongside her official designation, Ms. MMI added a "few" more titles: chief of this and that, chair of this and that, head of this and that...Obviously, the other members of the team were just, well, members. Ms. MMI had to be a member and a star.
Ms. MMI just can't resist hogging the "limelight." In one training sponsored by her well-staffed office, she put on a one-woman-show of sorts. She emceed, she led the opening prayer, she conducted the national anthem, she introduced the guest speaker (mercifully,it wasn't her), she did the closing remarks and she acted as the facilitator and lecturer. Ironically, the training was about empowering and motivating the staff.
Recently, Ms. MMI raised hell because some little usherette forgot to pin a corsage on her. She shed (crocodile)tears and went up to the usherette's boss, moaning about how insulted she was and how, given her stature, she should have been given that darn corsage. To her credit, Ms. MMI can really do a Vilma Santos if she wanted to. To cut an unbelievable story short, memos were issued, program designs were written and a whole bunch of "experts" were flown in to lecture on workplace ethics. And all because of one frigging, cheap corsage!
For all her self-centeredness, Ms. MMI might as well borrow this monologue thought up by a colleague from a long time ago:
"Okay, enough about me. Let's talk about you. So, what do you think of me?"
July 3, 2007
New Beginnings
New beginnings. That's the phrase of the day. I must have heard it a hundred--make that a thousand--times today that it's already losing its magic.
Before today, I associated "new beginnings" with Closing Time and PowerBooks. I particularly liked the line from the song that capped many a late '90s night at the mall: "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
Before today, I associated "new beginnings" with Closing Time and PowerBooks. I particularly liked the line from the song that capped many a late '90s night at the mall: "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
Today, however, as I sat through opening and closing remarks and the endless messages in between, the phrase has taken on not-so-positive notes. As if the past was so bad it might as well be erased. As if one can go barging into the future without considering the lessons of the past.
I understand that new management means new programs and new thrusts. I know that there's inexplicable thrill in fresh starts, such as when I write on a new notebook, or open the pages of a new book, or open new doors. But to brag about "new beginnings" when you know that it's just a turn of the wheel? That in no time, it will be back to the same old grind? Different times and different players, perhaps. But the same old story all over again.
Ahh, leave it to politics to take the newness out of "new" beginnings...
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