I used to keep a diary. I don’t know how or why I started, really. I guess I got tired of “dedications,” of “defining” love in autograph books and I needed to rant and rave, gloss over and gloat.
I remember my first diary: a 50-page Patty-and-Jimmy notebook that was eventually reduced to 20 pages or so. Back then, neatness counted and penmanship mattered. Patty and Jimmy has since been replaced by others: My Melody, those with allergy-inducing perfumed pages, Fly and Free, logbook, leather-bound, electronic.
The contents, too, have varied. They are, of course, but recurring themes in the web of life. My grade school diary immortalized puppy loves, training bras, Nancy Drew, petty quarrels. In high school, there were secret crushes and secret kisses, girl friends and boy friends, I-wish-I-were-a-Regal-Baby hopes and silly dreams.
My college diary carried on about life away from home, Varsi friendships and coming-of-age angst (it was the era of the exaggerated eyeliner, and it was perfectly all right to look mean and to think dark thoughts). Post-college, it was about adventures and misadventures in the “real” world, relationships, travels, decisions, life as I saw it. When I turned 30, the entries became less and less frequent. I was too busy experiencing life to write about it.
Which brings me to the question: “to blog or not to blog?” On the one hand, I am still busy with life. I got married at 36, had a baby at 38 and am still doing things I should have been doing ten years ago. I run by my own internal clock, and churning out something on a regular basis is something that I may not be able to handle. I have never been and am not one to run on routine. If truth be told, routine stresses me.
On the other hand, I want to chronicle my life again. I am turning 40. I have a two-year-old daughter. I feel the need to keep the faith.
In any case, I’m taking the cue from a dear, dear friend and am taking one day at a time. I’m not sure if I will find it in me to keep this blog going. For now, welcome to Anna’s Tasa. I will try to brew an interesting mix.