May 25, 2007

The World According to Tumblebugs

Welcome to my latest distraction.

For almost three months now, I have been drawn into the colorful world of Wildfire Studios' Tumblebugs. It is a simple enough concept: you free these adorable bugs from the clutches of the Black Bug Empire. With cool tools such as ballistuc bugs, star bugs, power ups and rewinds, you go through 12 levels of play. How difficult each level is depends on your dexterity. If you have fingers that are meant for clicking the mouse, if you have unquestionable eye-and-hand coordination, you just might be the person to save the bugs from the crafty Black Bug, his equally evil apprentice Igor, their power crystals and their underground lair.

Like other digital diversions (believe me, I have a lot; they span the range from solitaire to Pacman to Mario and Luigi to Hercules to Zuma) Tumblebugs does provide a welcome break from the daily drone. There is a "lesson" somewhere at the end of each hurdle (you complete at least five before you move on to the next level), a funny, if cynical take on an otherwise bug-eat-bug world.

Here are snippets of the wisdom (?) of Tumblebugs:

1. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everybody else.
2. A photographic memory is no use if it’s never developed.
3. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
4. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and it bothers the pig.
5. Buy low, sell high.
6. Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
7. Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
8. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
9. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.
10. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.
11. Sometimes, speed is the way to win (especially later on).
12. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
13. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
14. Genetics explain why you look like your father, and if you don’t why you should.
15. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience
16. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
17. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
18. Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.
19. A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
20. Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you buy happiness in nice places.
21. A bit of hard work never killed anyone, but why risk it?
22. Everything takes longer than you think it will.
23. The glass is either half full, half empty, or twice as big as it needs to be.
24. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.
25. Everything your mother ever warned you about is true.
26. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
27. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
28. When all else fails, play dead.

Not that they come highly recommended, but they do make for a few laughs...


quietstream said...

You're so funny. :-) I'm glad you blog often. More, more, more! :-)

Don said...

I too, have spent an inordinate amount of time on this game. Great post!